Where the Wildflowers don't bloom P5

Part 5

April 27th, 2024

"Is this what you are going to wear today?" I asked Abe when we both reached the gate of hell- our College for one last time together.

"What's wrong with it? I love it" he replied

"Just asking nothing much"

I could see Vic and Benny waiting for us at the Kiosk, the same kiosk I used to daydream while Sophy sat there reading some novel. I couldn't believe it's already been a year. I wish someone had pushed me out of the place that day.

"Francis?" Benny called again, as I appeared to be lost in thought once more. "With us?"

"Yeah, Just feeling nostalgic. I just miss our time together here" I told them

"You miss nothing" Vic stared at me

It's no wonder, I have a poor poker face. I couldn't easily fool them when my face appeared as though I had just woken up from crying.

We went straight to the auditorium. We had no chance to catch up with all our classmates and I am eternally grateful for that. I hate faking my emotions, and I don't want everyone to see my disgusted face when I meet them. Don't blame me—at least I'm not pretending.

It's our turn to walk on the stage to collect our course certificates. I'm still uncertain about the true value of this piece of paper. 'Man graduation really sucks' I thought for myself. 

Our row was at the second section of the auditorium. I got down and walked over, and that's when I saw her again—the person I had hoped and prayed I wouldn't encounter. Sophy was seated in the middle of her row. She acted as if she hadn't noticed me, but I knew she had and simply turned away. I walked from there to my seat like a man wearing a dead man's suit. Benny caught me by the shoulder and guided me to a chair. If it hadn't been for him, I swear I would have collapsed right there. He looked concerned, reminding me of the time he found me in this very auditorium when I wanted to be left alone. I noticed Vic and Abe exchanging worried glances

"We thought you are past those memories"

"I am"

"You are not"

"We saw what happened at the auditorium, don't you dare say that you are good"

"What happened?" Geno asked upon entering what was once called our classroom.

"Nothing" I said, I walked out the room not saying anything.

I felt bad for not saying anything to Geno but she might understood me. I walked for a while until I realized I was near the literature section. I hadn't intended to come here; I never wanted to. I wanted to turn back now but I couldn't just like every time I was here. I saw peeps with tears in their eyes today. It never made sense to me—crying over memories, crying for something you know you'll never get back. I clenched my fist so hard to hold back my tears. This damn section in the whole building was my favorite place even though I never spent time here more than 5 minutes. Now this became my doom. Once my Eden is my Hell, still standing here hoping for her sight like a soul trapped inside the dark seeking the bare of light that comes through a crack.

And I saw her again- smiling, looking like the moon that outshines any stars. And here I am like a withered lonely tree in the middle of a meadow- left alone with her memories. Nella guerra d'amor vince chi fugge.